People can Suprise You

If you give them a Chance

In group conversations, you’d remember the wallpaper color before remembering what I said.

Most of that is because I have nothing to add to the conversation. People around me talk about sports, the news, or politics. Who got drafted to what team, the latest national crisis, and political scandal. I don’t follow it so there’s nothing for me to add. 

But there are points where a comment comes to mind, but I brush it aside telling myself they wouldn’t get it. 

This led to intellectual isolation. How can you connect with others if you don’t share?

Before, I’ve added my two cents to a conversation and the proverbial jukebox shot it back. I was met with squinting eyes and plastic smiles. I stayed quiet. Most people are open or closed books, but I’m more of a choose-your-own-adventure book. I talk when people ask a question otherwise, I keep my comments quiet most of the time because they don’t get it.

Until one day in college, someone did get it. 

It was my first Design for 90 club meeting where our projects are focused on projects with local community impact. I was in the Think Tank group whose focus was to find and develop projects to work on, but the previous team had graduated, and it was just me and one other girl. 

We were both first year engineering students waiting on guidance from the club leaders. 

Instead of sitting in silence, we started talking. After getting over the usual topics of major, year, and hometown, we discussed classes. I was taking a class called Criticizing Television where our homework was watching television episodes and discussing its impact on society. Her ears perked up. We talked for hours about different tv shows and how they impacted us. Sharing the idea sparked a conversation between like minds. 

Before, I told myself I’m a shy person and that’s why I stay quiet, but that’s not true. 

The whole “stay quiet and don’t share because others don’t get it” is arrogance disguised as shyness. It’s arrogant for me to assume others don’t get it without giving them a chance. 

Like lightning in a dust storm, sharing my ideas sparked deeper conversations. 

As I shared more of my ideas and comments, my relationships deepened. Even if they didn’t get it, why hide who you are? If this interests me, show others. Why care about what other people think? Those who matter, won’t mind. 

Since my university, I’ve shared more of my interests with others and built different relationships. 

One time I was at a family friend’s wedding. It was the first wedding I attended in the US. The dance floor was open and people slowly stepped up. I was sitting at a table with friends eating food. A friend leaned over. 

“I bet you won’t go on the dance floor.”

I smirked and furrowed my eyebrows silently saying he’s got no idea what’s coming. 

The Twist blared on the speakers. Couples were dancing together. 

I finished my food. Downed a glass of water and gilded to the dance floor.